THOUGHT FOR THE DAY APRIL 26th
Some years ago, in a zoom conversation with my son Russ – in New Zealand – he talked about ‘random acts of kindness’ and came alive, offering examples he had heard about.
Today’s talk references one of Norbert Capek’s Advices – written and circulated during a period when, across Europe, liberty was being lost and, for many, terror reigned. So the ‘thought’ focuses on kindness, a word so often spoken that it can feel banal.
Here’s Capek’s 8th advice:
“Be kind towards people. Show kindness to others and they’ll show it to you. Help others. Think more about making others happy than about your own troubles. If you cannot say something good about others, it is better to remain silent.”
This sounds so basic – don’t we know it already? In our liturgy, we repeat our shared words which, taken together, look in that same direction. Each time, we may gain new insight into old truths. It also bonds us in a covenant: a covenant of openness to ourselves and to the other, and to society. And that involves well-wishing: the essence of Capek’s advice.
The implications of genuine acts of kindness are vast. Start a good thing somewhere, and it can mushroom. Where did I hear, ‘When I raise my arm, the whole universe changes.’? Often enough, someone is already willing to help but, as Andrew has reminded us in previous talks, they may need the prompt.
‘Random acts of kindness’. Many people are alert for the signal to offer help. They are pleased to have been there at the right time and feel good after such an act. And why not? The sceptical response ‘did it make you feel all warm and fuzzy?’ They should try it themselves. Warm and fuzzy creates energy.
And each week, we are reminded, ‘Though we often doubt that prayer can change anything, let’s never forget that prayer changes people, and people change things’. A saying such as that has its own life. It flies on, as does any helpful act from one to another: It is a good gift.
A month ago, a few of us attended our Annual Meetings, often just called the GA. The Exhibition Room contains various displays. I don’t know if you do this, but I hover near a stall, but I don’t necessarily commit myself because to do so would put me on the spot. There’s a danger I might be talked at by the person sitting there! You see, there’s a little expectation that, once home, I won’t do anything about it. So, is it worth stepping forwards? Yet when, finally, I step closer, and perhaps engage with the organisation’s representative, it takes me beyond my small world and into the others’ concerns and interests. I’ve found at times that once I step forwards, my confidence allows another person to edge closer too, because they are not the only one stepping into the zone.
This is just a small example, but by our boldness, we encourage another. I like that word ‘encouragement’. To lend courage to another. When we dare something, we give someone else confidence. And I’m reminded that, a couple of months ago, our little music group sang with you, ‘Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.’
But that sort of boldness begins with a need to relate to others. I hear the voice of Barbara Streisand. ‘People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.’ And while I’m at it, many years ago, I remember we would sing here with the children, ‘Love is something – if you give it away, you end up having more.’
None of us can avoid being needy at times – but acknowledging weakness leads to compassion, and I believe suffering was at the heart of Jesus’ relationship to the world. Where, or in what manner he suffered during his life? Ideas abound. Did he travel to Asia, India? Did he study elements of Buddhism? And was he known as a ‘mamzer’, someone whose illicit or uncertain parentage put him on the edge of Jewish society? That’s hard.
Our natural order is to connect. We are not solitary beings and usually, we don’t like to be on the edge. But not always – Paul Simon’s song ‘I am a Rock – I am an island’. Some of us can identify with that because it is tempting to set oneself apart. Yet, though we may feel safer alone, to live as an island is not who we are, at our best.
And a line from the musical, Chess: ‘No-one in the world is with you constantly. No-one is completely on your side.’ In a primal sense, we are animals looking after number 1. But what of the Greek terms for ‘love’: one is ‘agape‘. Selfless love. Is there ever such a thing? We may not manage to be entirely on someone else’s side, but we can and must ‘well-wish’: in Capek’s advice, it is to think more about making others happy than to linger over our own troubles.
We must endeavour to trust others, however they come across. You can only rely on a person to be himself. Often enough, we place someone on a sliding scale between ‘I don’t like her’, and ‘He”s great!’ One means we dismiss someone – and never learn why we have reacted, while the other puts someone on a pedestal. People fall off pedestals.
Capek’s advice is that if we can’t say something good about someone, keep silent. I sometimes fail to heed that myself. Have patience and we will get to know that person so much better – or we accept some perceived weakness.
Our conversations here, both after the talk and in personal conversations, help us to develop trust, and trust generates good action, which sends us forwards.
‘Feel Fear, but do it Anyway‘. I once saw a book with that title, and recently, I read on a writer’s blog, ‘if you don’t enter the competition, you can’t win.’ In our context, I would say, ‘if we don’t apply for the funding, we won’t get it!’ Or, ‘If we don’t look deeply into what we need – and need imminently – it could all be over.”
Let’s hold faith with our hopes and aspirations. Today we meet at our AGM, to take stock, to consult, and to open our minds to each other. Phrases such as, ‘rubbing shoulders’, and ‘knocking sparks off one another’, come to mind. It’s the opposite of aspiring to be an island. And where there’s friction, there’s heat, light, and vision.
And so, we trust the experience of working together, of speaking genuinely with each other. And – equally importantly – of listening.
Capek encouraged the Czech Unitarian congregation towards kindness and mutual support. Here today, I recommend rubbing shoulders with others. It’s warmer that way.